Motor Boating!

I'm proud to report that the M's bought their first boat last week! It's a 13 foot Boston Whaler.

While I've always wanted to own a boat, this is definitely something that has caught me out of my element. We never owned a boat growing up so I have zero experience with these suckers. We're kind of in a period where we're finding our comfort zone.

Today was the first day out on the water. I took the boat out this morning from the local boat launch.

I backed the boat down the ramp all-the-while fearing that my car would slide under murkey water. I unhitched the boat, got on board and pushed away from the trailer, floating freely. I turned the key to start the motor. No start. I played with the fuel line for a second and tried again a few more times. Nothing. I'm starting to sweat as I float down the river with no motor and no paddle. I tried a few more times with no luck and finally the panic set in - I hand paddled it over to the floating dock nearby. Luckily no one was there to witness my motoring failure. It would have been a bad blow to my ego.

After pulling the car and trailer up the ramp, I fiddled with the motor for a while and finally figured out what the trouble was. The engine purred to life. Hooray!

I took the boat out on it's sea trials with only one notable occurance. I was cruising along pretty fast and all of a sudden the boat lost power and a big murky cloud of water came up behind the boat. I thought " Oh no! The drive system blew up!!! How could this happen on the first trip out!?! I'll bet the guy who sold it to me knew it was dying and screwed me over! What am I going to tell my wife!? She never even rode on it! How am I going to get a ride back!?! I'm miles from anywhere without a paddle! "

It turned out that the motor hit a submerged sandbar and didn't damage it. I was able to raise the motor up and slipped right out. I learned that lesson- luckily without breaking anything. We need to get a depth finder to avoid 'sanding out' in the future.

I got the boat back to our dock and declared the maiden voyage a success.

After lunch I took Stephanie and Katie out starting from our dock - This time we took a kayak paddle! Katie was scared when the boat went fast. Both of the girls were scared when we hit some choppy areas. The bow hatch was a little loose so it thumped when we hit the big bumps adding to the drama. I'm hoping they will get a little more comfortable with the boat and bumps as time goes one.

Stephanie did not get sea sick which is one thing I was pretty happy about. It doesn't take much to make her green. Luckily no pukie.

Overall it was a good day out on the water - we saw a local marina and also some residential areas we hadn't visited before.

Most importantly everyone got home safe and sound!

In this part of coastal georgia it is customary for boats to have names. Now that we've had our maiden voyage, I've been contemplating what name fits this boat.

Should we call her the BOBO? Maybe the SandWitch after today's hicup. The jury is still out on the name. We'll think of something before we take her out again.

Ice Cream Roobery

Gotta Love Sea Gulls:

http://jet-point.com/2009/02/24/birds-stealing-ice-cream/

Behold the Power

Most people know this about me but In case you stumble upon this blog let me inform you about one of my greatest qualities: EPIC FARTING.

Over this holiday break I've taken the sport of farting to new levels, which is saying a lot considering my farting track record.

After getting out of work on the 19th I started the season off right by eating a king size can of bush's best beans in a little over 4 hours. I'm not kidding. I ate the big one from the bottom shelf at the grocery store. Just to see what happens. Believe it or not, the beans were actually a Christmas gift from my brother in law.

For the next day and a half my farting was incessant and voluminous.

Part of this time period was spent while traveling to Buffalo. A guy heard me rip one in the Atlanta airport, while I was standing next to Katie and her stroller. His eyes got wide with amazement as he couldn't believe such a guttural sound could emanate from a toddler.

I must send Kudos to Stephanie and Katie for putting up with me over these past couple of days. We've been in close quarters while staying in Buffalo and they've felt the full brunt of my fury.

Stephanie got the worst of it. I had a slew of beans and eggnog on Christmas and a wave of fury was coming on just as we were about to go to bed. While in bed, I ripped something nasty and Stephanie and ran to the toilet to throw her guts up! She actually vomited until her stomach was empty!!

I must be a really good guy. Any other shmuck would be divorced and homeless after what I pulled.

Darth Santa

Santa is one scary dude.
http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/chi-scared-santa-sm-081202-pg,0,52957.photogallery

Dillo from HELL!!

Our yard has been plauged by an evil armadillo since the day we bought this house. Never once has our yard been free from armadillo damage....this sucker digs mini burrows as he forages for nasty grubs an it really makes the yard look like a construction zone.

Over the years I've tried several measures to rid us of this sucker.

First I tried salting my yard with mothballs to get this sucker to just go away. That was a joke. No effect on armadillo damage.

Next I bought a large raccoon trap to capture the evil sucker. He got caught in the trap but then subsequently broke out.....he's a powerful little beast.

After that, I decided to get medieval on the sucker and I set a conibear trap right in the entrance of his dillo hole. This is a snap trap that will suffocate him by pinching his body. A few days went by and I found the trap sprung and tossed out of the way of his hole. Clearly not even a deterrent to this bastard.

After all this valiant effort I finally came face to face with the SOB yesterday morning as i was leaving the house. I had just pulled into the street when i noticed him zig zagging in the street in front of my house. My pulse quickened as my foot hit the gas. I accellerated, I swerved violently and was treated to a pleasing THUMP-THUMP as I ran that bastard over!!

It was dark outside so it's not easy to tell what happened in the aftermath of this showdown. I circled back around and expected to see a mound of dillo meat in the road, but instead the scene was completely clean!! That SOB had survived a high speed runover by a SUV!!

I'm coming to think that I'm dealing with somewhat extraordinary situation here. This creature has thwarted multiple attempt that leave most ordinary critters either captured or dead as a door nail. What the hell does this sucker run on? Is he powered by SATAN?? maybe he's already dead and lurks in the night to haunt me and my lawn. Zombie Dillo!!!

Grit Face

Katie is awesome. She's a true Malluck.

Pictures

Well here's a pictorial post to share what the Malluck's have been up to for the past couple of months.

Steph Katie and Me went to Buffalo at the end of June for Steph to attend her friend's wedding. We stayed with Stephs parents, which was a nice opportunity for her mom to spend time with Katie. The weather in Buffalo was a nice break from the sweltering Savannah heat. While in town, we made rounds to all our favorite places, Niagra Falls, Niawanda park, Timmy HO HO's, Wegmans, Andersons and Diane's house.



Katie continues to grow like crazy. She's become quite a walker, though still clumsy. She's very tall now compared to the other kids in her toddler class. She started daycare a few weeks ago, which has been a tough transition for her - she misses mommy a lot while at day care.



I liked this picture of Katie and Mommy sleeping in the bed so I included it.


When we returned from Buffalo, our dock was complete. We spent the evening of July 4th watching fireworks on the dock with Michael and Sarah.

I've been out exploring in the kayak a lot lately. I'll need a power boat soon to extend my adventures......


My parents and Matthew came to visit at the beginning of this month. My parents spent some time with Katie and Matthew did a lot of fishing off our dock. Matthew left this great picture on my computer which I'd love to share, but it violates blogspot photo guidelines.