Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Dillo from HELL!!


Our yard has been plauged by an evil armadillo since the day we bought this house. Never once has our yard been free from armadillo damage....this sucker digs mini burrows as he forages for nasty grubs an it really makes the yard look like a construction zone.

Over the years I've tried several measures to rid us of this sucker.

First I tried salting my yard with mothballs to get this sucker to just go away. That was a joke. No effect on armadillo damage.

Next I bought a large raccoon trap to capture the evil sucker. He got caught in the trap but then subsequently broke out.....he's a powerful little beast.

After that, I decided to get medieval on the sucker and I set a conibear trap right in the entrance of his dillo hole. This is a snap trap that will suffocate him by pinching his body. A few days went by and I found the trap sprung and tossed out of the way of his hole. Clearly not even a deterrent to this bastard.

After all this valiant effort I finally came face to face with the SOB yesterday morning as i was leaving the house. I had just pulled into the street when i noticed him zig zagging in the street in front of my house. My pulse quickened as my foot hit the gas. I accellerated, I swerved violently and was treated to a pleasing THUMP-THUMP as I ran that bastard over!!

It was dark outside so it's not easy to tell what happened in the aftermath of this showdown. I circled back around and expected to see a mound of dillo meat in the road, but instead the scene was completely clean!! That SOB had survived a high speed runover by a SUV!!

I'm coming to think that I'm dealing with somewhat extraordinary situation here. This creature has thwarted multiple attempt that leave most ordinary critters either captured or dead as a door nail. What the hell does this sucker run on? Is he powered by SATAN?? maybe he's already dead and lurks in the night to haunt me and my lawn. Zombie Dillo!!!