Behold the Power

Most people know this about me but In case you stumble upon this blog let me inform you about one of my greatest qualities: EPIC FARTING.

Over this holiday break I've taken the sport of farting to new levels, which is saying a lot considering my farting track record.

After getting out of work on the 19th I started the season off right by eating a king size can of bush's best beans in a little over 4 hours. I'm not kidding. I ate the big one from the bottom shelf at the grocery store. Just to see what happens. Believe it or not, the beans were actually a Christmas gift from my brother in law.

For the next day and a half my farting was incessant and voluminous.

Part of this time period was spent while traveling to Buffalo. A guy heard me rip one in the Atlanta airport, while I was standing next to Katie and her stroller. His eyes got wide with amazement as he couldn't believe such a guttural sound could emanate from a toddler.

I must send Kudos to Stephanie and Katie for putting up with me over these past couple of days. We've been in close quarters while staying in Buffalo and they've felt the full brunt of my fury.

Stephanie got the worst of it. I had a slew of beans and eggnog on Christmas and a wave of fury was coming on just as we were about to go to bed. While in bed, I ripped something nasty and Stephanie and ran to the toilet to throw her guts up! She actually vomited until her stomach was empty!!

I must be a really good guy. Any other shmuck would be divorced and homeless after what I pulled.