Jumpin' on the Bandwagon

I first heard the word 'blog' probably a year and a half ago on some nerd website and just passed it off for cyber-geek types who are too introverted for normal social interaction.

Well here I am. I am a newly born nerd jumping on the blog bandwagon. I do have to say, the popularity of blogs definetly influenced my decision to infest this crooked corner of cyberspace. I got into reading my brother's blog and a few friends' and I sort of liked the chance to keep up with people without the effort of actually interacting. It's so marvelously dysfunctional, I had to have my piece of it. Maybe this is social interaction for the TV generation...just sit back and read. Little effort required.

So where to pick up? What to rant about?....afterall ranting is what blogs are all about, right?

Here's a few topics I'm considering discussing over the next couple of blogs:
Blowing up chickens, and why it's the fun thing to do;
Getting Married and maybe some other philosophical stuff;
Flatulation: so common yet so taboo.
Ranting about Southern conservatives (bound to be a topic at some point);
My career or lack thereof and where I should go with it;

Putting this list together, I'm not quite sure what I want this blog to become. I could use this space as a diary, a philosophical rant or even as a creavite outlet for comedy. Who knows?

But right now is time for comedy!!

I don't know what started the whole idea of keeping dogs as a cool pet but I think the idea is a pretty lousy one. For one, dog's are not a clean animal. They drool. They snivel. They fart. These are not qualities I would choose for an object of affection, let alone as my 'best friend'. I think what bothers me most about dogs is the fact that they essentially resemble retarded humans walking on all four's with a choke chain. Really dogs are pretty stupid creatures and their intelligence is pretty inline with that of a retarded child. They grunt, they drool, they fetch the paper, if you are lucky they defecate in the designated areas. Why people elect to harbor these sniveling, retarded creatures in their home, I will never know.

Now what I really can't get over is people who drive around town with the head of one of these retarded beasts hanging out the window of their car. If walking around town with a retard on a leash weren't bad enough they choose to showcase these works of drooling flem at high rates of speed for all the world to be disgusted by. If you had a retarded child--let's just call him mongo--would you let mongo hang his head out the window to drool all over god's earth?

The scariest part of the whole dog's-head-out-the-window is my deep rage that is invoked by these filthy beasts. It's a feeling that makes me grit my teeth; a hatred so fierce I cannot bear to look away from this spectacle. I fear that one day this hatred could grow into more than just a fierce hatred.....A day where I retrofit a 'dog-club' onto the side of my truck and then drive through the night seeking to rid the world of wind-blown dog-head.

I sense a therapy session coming on.